alright, here's a stupid post. you happy now?

It's been a while... They don't say anything. No one will admit it. But I know. I see it in their eyes... the subtle tone of their voice. Before I'd thought the world had changed. But the truth is that it is me. I am a changed man. I don't know if it's for better or for worse, and probably never will. I'd like to think it's for the better. For now, at least. Who knows what the future will bring- I stopped trying to predict a long time ago. All I can really do is plot my next move, one step at a time, and hope for the best.
I'd like to think of myself as the gruff and weathered 'old' man; battlescarred and hardened by the lessons hard learned after a quarter century of living. I'd like to think that I'm read to settle down and retire to a simple life with that companion of mine. But apparently I'm still young, and need to 'stop being so lazy'. Whatever.. I do what i want. Going to test drive a couple cars today. Front runner is the Mazda protege; but i'm getting tired of waiting for my friend to sell it to me. Next on the list is Mazda3. Then the Jetta. Maybe a Honda, maybe a Toyota. I'll even look at a Ford. But I'll most likely go with the mazda.

How this vehicle will make Jamalian Life easier...
not having to hear people bitch about me not having a car..
be able to go to and from work.. anytime i want
join lake union rowing club
move closer to seattle
travel anytime, anywhere
not having to make sure i had exact change for the bus fair
no more hitch hiking!

April, April, April

Finally, it's april. which means??? Fai's been gone for 3 months, mean i've got another 3 before i see her again. a long... time... from now...It also means i've been in seattle for 6 months. half a year. crazy. doesn't seem like that long, yet it does. time has no meaning anymore. i have no end of the school year to look forward to. no exam to be thankful's over. no real 'spring break'. just me.. working, week in, week out. kind of.. sobering... something i'll be doing for the next... 35 years... hmm. so...whatever. but seattle isn't bad. this weekend there's a byoTS (bring your own top shelf) gathering at my place. classy, dress up. think martini party, only better. good music, good company.

Oh yeh...

Party at Jamal's...

First Time for Everything

Home Front
So... just got back from skiing yesterday. my ass hurts. it's sore from, well, i don't know exactly why. i hate ski boots. the lift? well. it's cold. other than that, it's cool. definitely fun. too bad the people i was with were experts, so i ended up sticking to the uh, double blacks by myself... did i say double black? i meant green. haha. fun times.

There was also a lot of snow... yeh. Did I mention there was a lot of snow?

My Reflections on the Matter at Hand

Home Front

Sigh. I spoke with my love again today. damn it's good to hear her voice, but it'd be better to see her in person. though i'm certain about our relationship, i'm just not sure how i'm going survive over the next year without her. it'll be a cruel trial of personal substance and development, one of patience and virtue, of sacrifice and love; the likes of which i've never seen before. have you ever been in a situation where you absolutely must succeed? a task so challenging and tedious that your fear would have you quit; but deep down you know quitting is not an option, and the only rational thing to do is push forward. take a step into the unknown because staying is not an option. with her gone, i find i want to quit and follow her to her far off land. I almost feel as if i'm the one being left behind and tested. But just as many times before, I know that i can't let me fear take control. the only thing i can do is move forward with my life with knowledge that we will one day be together. i have her love, just as she has mine. all that is left for me is personal grown, patience, and virtue.

Home Front

Capt's Log 002

alright. now that i'm on lunch break, i can write. this is going to be a long year. i find myself anxiously waiting for its conclusion like i've never done before. i think back to a year ago, more specifically, a year and 2 months, which was right around new years 2004... that was... a long time ago... man. i was still at michigan in a2... not graduated yet, no job... and the cat was still tiny (he's a bit pudgy now). we were at kelly's of for new years. chicago, great place. anyway, i've decided to take up a hobby. not sure which one yet. probably pick up on my writing and astronomy again. maybe take some classes. oh yeh, i gotta get my master's degree. forgot about that one...

Captain's Log 001

This is my first blog Don't ask why i think my life's interesting enough to read about. anyway, it's here; mainly to talk about what happens in my new life in seattle. hopefully I'll get some photos and more excited things posted... but..... i'm at work now, so i'll post most stuff later. enjoy